your gonna hate me for this

So your gonna think I am totally ridiculous and maybe you'll even roll your eyes...I WOULD if I was reading what I am about to say on one of your blogs.... Let me set this up for you... Liam is an amazing sleeper. Amazing or should I say a little too amazing. When I put him down at 7:00 that is it no more Liam until 7:00, 8:00, or even 8:30 the next morning. Totally normal and fabulous right? Well here is my ahhhem..issue. He never wakes and cries...EVER...So he goes for what 12 hours without a peep. I appreciate it I do..I love LOVE MY SLEEP. But I love my baby more and there are times that I wish I could hear even a little whimper letting me know he needs mommy...A little rocking, snuggling, a back rub anything. But no he falls into a deep slumber and there he stays until the morning... I know I know count my blessings right. But there is something so precious about the OCCASIONAL midnight 'meeting' with your little one.

Please do the following

I have to be careful how I word this and what I say because I don't want weirdos googling my blog again and writing stuff that they know nothing about. I have a web sight here that I want you to go check out and follow the instructions given. It's a real eye opener. www.stoptheabortionmandate.com. Babies lives depend on it!

Changing Birthday

When we picked Liam up from HH Almaz Our wonderful, beautiful orphanage director told us she thought Liam was younger than the birthday given him. She said she even thought it was off by a couple of weeks. I have to say that I honestly dismissed it. You have to understand when we got LiLi he was Huge...I mean Huge (a little over 18 lbs. to be exact.) Well as we were there during the week and doing different things I noticed he was behind some of his peers who were around his age. After Liam was home for a few weeks I made the comment to Aaron that I thought Liam might be younger. I know a couple of weeks may not seem like a big deal but in baby world it is a lifetime. Again as the months have passed I thought more and more about my little boy and told Aaron once again I was convinced my little boy was a little younger. Actually the hardest time for me was when we celebrated what was assumed to be his first birthday. I really struggled on that day. Of course I would my baby was turning one, but I also felt like it was a big struggle because I thought about the fact that with the many unknowns in this little boys life we couldn't even celebrate a day so many of us take for granted Our Birthdays. Throughout the months I have prayed about Liam's birthday. I have prayed about what happened in his little life before HH. I pray for all of the unknowns that I know play a part in who he is and have forever changed him. One night I awoke in the middle of the night and a date popped into my head my next thought "That's Liam's Birthday." When I woke the next morning I thought about that day and the significance of it. We always had said that even thought LiLi's birthday was a guess we were not going to change it. We felt like that was something he was bringing back with him as the closest thing to his story we had. I continued to really pray about what it would mean for him if we changed his birthday. I just wanted him to have something we could pass off as a sure thing. I wanted to be able to tell him that it was in his official paperwork from HH. I really began to struggle with the fact that there is so many unknowns in my son's life. Although it has continued to be a grieving process for me as his mom to not know anything God has given me a for sure thing. Here is some of Liam's FACTS!

1. Although we don't know LiLi's story God does. He knows it from start to finish. He actually starting authoring my little man's story before the creation of the world. Not one detail has been forgotten or left out. Everything under the sun happens for a reason.

2. I was searching for and wanting people to give me answers they couldn't give. God on the other hand could give me answers. I truly believe he gave me Liam's birthday.

So even with all this said I am only human and still doubted whether or not we should officially change Liam's birthday. After Aaron and I talked about it, we decided that if we could somehow find out when Liam came to HH, that would help shed so much light into the date that I truly felt God had given me. We decided that the date I thought was Liam's birthday needed to be at least 2 weeks before the date he came to HH. I actually put this investigative quest off for a long time. I was tired of being told nobody knew anything. I really didn't want to hear it again. One random morning I was determined to try. God and his perfect timing....I heard back 2 short hours later. The date he arrived at HH was exactly 2 weeks after the date that we picked for his Birthday. It couldn't have been more perfect timing because as I shared the date with my Mom she had just ordered a Nana necklace and was at the last minute able to switch out the stone to his new month. Not a catastrophic issue but again God took care of the details (even the little ones.)

A never before seen referral update photo of my little JUNE baby! He was projected to be almost 4 months...But with his new birthday he was actually right at 3mo.

So to make an already long blog post...painstakingly longer....in honor of his Birthday....Which I won't officially share until our re adoption process...which won't be until November....

12 THINGS WE LOVE ABOUT LIAM....

1. Mommy loves the way we stare into each others eyes for your entire bottle. We play the blinking game...which often ends in giggles.

2.Daddy Loves how you can eat anything and everything at anytime. He loves a little competition.

3. Daddy Loves the way your chin sticks out when you whine. He also loves mimicking you making both of you laugh.

4. Mommy loves how you walk. You try so hard to stay balanced and when you crash which is inevitable you sit and clap for yourself until everyone joins you.

5. Mommy loves that you nod your head yes when asked a question. You look so grown up and sure of yourself even if you are completely clueless as to what you are saying yes to.

6. Mommy and Daddy love the way you blow kisses with both hands covering your mouth and a repeated smacking noise from your lippies.

7. We love how you dance! Love it Love it Love It! You even dance when Momma sings...It doesn't matter, you hear a tune and you start dancing.

8. Mommy loves your bucking bronco. Of course it does mean you are in the middle of a fit but it is hilarious. You get up on all fours and proceed to throw your upper body in the air, sending yourself crashing back down on your hands..

9. We love the way you say your brother's name. Brabra. I love how he can make you laugh (or squeal) no matter what mood either of you are in.

10. We love your skin and the way every color looks good on you.

11. Mommy loves that in nursery (though you play and have a great time) you occasional crawl to the door and knock on it calling out my name.

12. Daddy Loves the way you can palm a ball. He thinks it is a sign of a future sports player...

Happy late OFFICIAL birthday Brown Bear!

Boycotting a really sucky movie

So I have a confession...My last post was copied from the great blog eastiopians. I put their blog reference in the post but unfortunately I didn't know how and couldn't figure out how to link their blog to my post. So if you read my post or are just interested in what she had to say about this horrible movie please go check out her blog. I am honestly tired of horror movies in general. In one of my psych undergrad classes we studied the effects of pornography and horror movies on the minds of adolescents. It's scary. I wish I could say seeing an occasional horror movie isn't a big deal but well it's just not true. No matter what you think there are lasting effects left in your mind whether in your conscious or sub conscious. Really scripture tells us to fill our minds with whatever is pure, lovely and holy. What in the world is pure holy and lovely about people getting grotesquely maimed. I also read an article about horror movies and how they try and include as much nudity or sexual content as possible because they know that sells horror movies. The article also stated that Horror movies in the U.S. involve so much more gore, blood, violence, and sexual content then horror movies made in Japan. So I do understand there are different types and contents of Horror films. I am not opposing scary movies...in good taste. So all of this to say I hate that Warner Brothers is out to disrespect Orphans and adoption by creating a really tasteless movie. Please Boycott the movie ORPHAN! It's time to show HOLLYWOOD what sells!

Family Day

We have had a crazy busy summer. I mean Crazy busy but fabulous. There have been things I want to post about but never get around to it. I often think in posts. I actually think out the way I would type it. It's weird and unfortunately thats as far as some of my posts get (my head). Well I thought I would just post a few pictures of exactly what we have been up to. Then I hope to post about my thoughts on 'gotcha day,' changing birthdays and hindsight on instant 'bonding.' Here are some pics of our Family day. Liam had officially been home in the U.S. 6 months on this very special day of June 12. He was at Hannah's Hope 6 mo and in our Home 6mo. We were starting the journey of officially being home longer then in Ethiopia. I always thought we weren't going to celebrate 'gotcha days.' Really we haven't celebrated the day we first met him. We have always thought in terms of the day he was here the 12th of Dec. Anyway I won't get into in this post but I wanted to say that we deamed this day "family Day." It was a celebration of when we became a family of four joined together again. All of us in one place.

Don't ask me why the cake is pink.

Deep thoughts about Jesus....

I was letting Wesley lick the bowl after making brownies. I stepped out of the room for 5 seconds and when I came back in I found him like this. I asked him what happened and he looked at me clueless. I told him he had brownie mix everywhere and I asked again how it happened he told me"I was trying to lick the bottom of the bowl."

When we get up in the morning (the boys and I), we head into the kitchen and start the breakfast routine. There is really not much of a routine but every morning I do ask Wesley first what he wants for breakfast. This may change as Liam gets older but for now while I am still feeding him, his first course, I try to have Wesley eating while I am feeding Liam. There is a system though and that system involves me, every morning, asking Wesley what he wants for breakfast and then letting him know that if he can't pick something by the time I have 'brother's' breakfast ready he will have to wait until Liam is done. So we were going through this 'routine' Monday morning and this is how it went:

Me: Wesley what do you want for breakfast?

Wes: silence

Me: If you don't tell me by the time I get brother's breakfast ready you will have to wait until he is done...

Wes: (Looking pensive) Mom?

Me: Yes sweetheart?

Wes: What are all the things Jesus made for us for breakfast?

Me: (fortunately my head was in the cabinet because I couldn't help but giggle a little, I really didn't know where to go with this. Do I talk about how Jesus made the people at Kellogg's who then made our cereal? Do I talk about how I am the one who makes his breakfast but Jesus lives inside me?) Well all I said was: In our house we have cereal and sausage.

Then the other day I had just gotten my hair chopped off (so low maintenance and I thought it might help me look a little older (I was wrong, I tell that story another time.) anyways I had just gotten my hair chopped off and walked in the front door and Wesley was standing on the stairs to greet me. He was holding his camera and our conversation went something like this:

Wesley: Daddy said when I am older and we go hunting he is going to hold the gun and I am going to take my camera and sit next to him and take pictures.

Me: (assuming they had talked about hunting) Your going to take pictures of dead animals?

Wesley (chin quivering): If you go hunting you make the animal die?

Me: (mortified that I am the one breaking the news to him especially when we don't even hunt ESPECIALLY ME..) Well yeah baby that's what happens when you shoot something that is why you need to be very careful when you have a gun (trying to pull in a little life lesson).

Wesley: (chin quivering and eyes blinking to hold back tears) Is that what Jesus wants GaGaGa to do?

GaGaGa..is Wesley and Liam's great grandpa Gordon. There was a lot of G's and from the time Wes was little bitty he has called him GaGaGa.

Me (now faced with a dilemma. If I say no then GaGaGa is a bad person who goes against Jesus...Definitely not the right choice, but if I say yes then Jesus wants us to kill things.So after thinking about it long and hard, about 3.5 seconds I said): Jesus put us in charge of the animals and part of that means we need to kill some of them for food and make sure there are not to many of them so that the animals have a enough food.

Well he seemed satisfied with it.

Then the other day Wesley got in trouble, he looked at me very defiantly and said:

I am running away(a concept he knows nothing about) and I am taking Jesus with me.

I walked into the bathroom while Wesley was taking a bath he had been practicing trying to put his head under. I asked him what he was doing He said:

Me and Jesus are diving.

Yesterday I was changing Liam's diaper and Wesley ran in so excited he said "Mommy I just prayed..." I said "wow Wesley that's great what did you pray?" Wesley " I prayed Jesus would help my brain not fall out."

A choice we made for our son

We made a choice to circumcise Liam. I understand that this topic is sensitive and I also understand that not everyone agrees with it. This is why I feel it is so important to be educated on what you are choosing to do. Aaron and I saw many different doctors and got many many opinions from the medical world. Honestly the opinions came out to be 50/50. Some were adamantly for it and some were not "against it"...per say but did call it a cosmetic surgery. Well our last and final visit landed us at a ped. urologist who told us that the only cases of penile cancer are directly connected to uncircumcised males. Because he deals with all of the problems caused by being uncircumcised we took his opinion and after a lot of prayer and consideration we decided to make this very very very difficult decision. It was the right one and I am proud of me as Liam's mom for being strong enough to make a decision that was in his best interest long term. It reminds me of the time just recently when Wesley was really really sick. I mean getting worse while on antibiotics. After a night's stay in the ER and yet another developing ear infection I took him in to his primary care doctor. She said we needed to give Wesley an antibiotic shot. She said it was going to hurt and he was going to be very sore for a few days but then he would dramatically improve. I went with the shot...As I and 2 other nurses held Wesley down to get the shot I kept saying you promise this will be better long term. I didn't want to put him through something so painful in the moment unless I was promised I was doing something better for him in the long run. I know that having Liam circumcised is not comparable to giving Wesley a shot but the emotion of having to make that decision is. When you have to make a decision in your child's best interest knowing that short term there is pain but long term it is the best choice (for our son), it's hard. I don't wish any of those kinds of decisions on anyone but unfortunately we as parents will face them throughout our child's whole life. I am sorry for everyone who chose to be so hateful about a decision they were not part of. I am sorry that people I don't even know who don't know me chose to exert their agenda and try to use my personal blog as a platform for starting a debate. I am sad for those people. I don't even want to address the comments that they left because I don't want to give and validity to the ludicrous accusations that they made. We love both our boys more than life itself. As our friends, family and loyal followers of our blog can attest. Having Liam recover from his (as called by the doctors 'minor' surgery) it was a very precious time for him and us as his parents. I can't describe it and I am sorry that I tried because now something that was so special between us and our son has been tarnished by sick and hateful people. Fortunately all is well because ultimately this is my blog and well I have the power to delete.....