When it rains it pours

Not to be all doom and gloom. But April showers bring May flowers right? If your my facebook friend I feel that I come across a lot more "humor only." Here as it is my therapy I can be a little bit more cynical. A lot more cynical. Anyway there is so much rain outside...Well today is sunny but it seems like lately it is super rainy and well I need it to be rainy in order to make an analogy. Seems like in Missouri when it rains it pours, for days. I mean just saturates the ground. But within days we see beautiful products of the rain. So many flowers, the greenest grass. I feel like that has been my life as of lately. I have been working so hard in school that I am so excited to see May come and to have a much earned break. I have set it up that the whole month I want to focus on birthdays and sewing. I have put off sewing knowing that it would be irresponsible of me to do something I consider fun when I should be studying. So I am looking forward to May. Well I was. See I have been super stressed with school(I know I said that already). Then about 3 days before Easter I noticed swelling at the base of my neck and around my collar bone. Then it started getting worse and I started getting achy in my back. Tired and Achy. After many doctor's appointments and having one doctor tell me I just must have a chubby neck. I now await an appointment May 10th with an Ear nose and throat doctor. I have gone through phases where the not knowing is killing me. Yeah I am pretty sure I wrote about that when waiting to know if we passed court. Well back in the waiting game. I don't think I care so much about what is going on as much as I care about just knowing. I want to make plans. Prepare. Do what i need to do. NOt just wait idly. So I thought that threw an interesting twist into my May. Nope that was just the tip of the iceberg. About 2 weeks ago I noticed a hard swollen knot on Liam's left bunny cheek(butt cheek for those of you who don't speak bunny.) I took him to the doctor. He said it was probably a bruise and it would surface in a few days. I wasn't sure what this meant. What was a bruise going to look like on his little brown bunnies. Well A week went by and I thought maybe it would just go away. Until he woke up Wed. morning and spent most of the morning either refusing to walk or limping. Pitiful to see a baby limp. So I got him in to the doctor that morning. Doctor says it looks worse and so now on May 12th we head to Saint Louis Children's hospital so that he can see a pediatric specialist. Funny how all of a sudden nothing else matters to me but making it to May 12th.

Aunt Grace

Just trying to process the day...We found a kitty on Thursday evening. She was hanging out in our backyard. We have a privacy fence so I was pretty impressed that she was back there. Anyway we befriended her. Actually we thought it was a boy and were going to name him Kevin. Well I told Wes I think this is a girl kitty and so he proudly stated her name was Aunt Grace. (for those of you who don't know my little sister's name is Grace.) She has been in Hong Kong for the year and I think Wesley misses her. He kept asking the Kitty how she got from Hong Kong...anyway. Super sweet kitty. I wanted to keep her Aaron wasn't so sure and well I did have some concern how we could fit adjusting to a new kitty into the kinda crazy time we are in. But I figured she found us... We went out of town for the weekend. Aaron said if the kitty "aunt Grace" was still living under our shed in the backyard we would talk about keeping her. Well we got home late Sunday night (like 10:00) I went in the back yard with my flash light... walking around in the dark shining a light under the shed calling "aunt Grace" "aunt Grace." She didn't come out...(it was also raining). Well she was out bright and early this morning. So we put her in a crate and took her to the vet. WE thought before we even try and see if this kitty gets along with Romeo (our beast of a cat). We should have her tested and checked out. Well I was the one at the appointment it turns out Aunt Grace has feline Leukemia. This is a deadly illness for Kitties and super contagious to other cats. Usually cats with it don't live over 1 year old. I had no other options, I actually asked if not begged the vet to tell me another way to handle the situation and she basically said if it were me this is what I would do. So with tears streaming down my face I paid the bill(which sucked) and left. Please pray there was one possibility they were going to check into. There is a lady who has a cat who tested positive with Leukemia. She said they would see if Aunt Grace could live there. I am sad she is a super good little kitty. My heart was broken. When I came home I simply told Wesley Aunt Grace got to go somewhere else. He was sad but I felt it was best not to go into details seeing as how I couldn't articulate it with out crying. All in all it was a sad answer to prayer on whether or not we should keep her. One huge blessing is that Wes was supposed to go with me but as I was walking out the door he disobeyed his daddy and had to stay home. I have never been so thankful for disobedience. God really works all things for our good.

So blessed

Although I am sitting here feeling particularly discouraged, I am amazed by how much God has blessed me. I have two amazing and healthy little boys who always can make me smile. Up until this point Aaron and I have always been very healty. God has blessed Aaron's career. To top things off God has provided an oppurtunity to go back to school. I really take this last one for granted and just assume that a further education is everyone's right. I am so thankful to everyone in my family who is working hard to make this possible. Number one Aaron. So as I feel discouraged and am pretty sure I am just incapable of studying for tests, and although there is some anxiety over what is going on whith my health I sit here amazed at just how blessed I am.