happy Birthday Liam!

I want to wish our sweet little man happy 6 month birthday! So in true blog fashion I will right 6 things we already know and love about our little "chopper" (Wesley's pick for baby brother's name).

1.) I love your big eyes, chubby cheeks and pouty lips. You and your older brother look like you are permanently storing cheerios in those cheekies.

2.)I love the Afro you are already sporting. Let's keep it growing!

3.) I love your smile. It makes your big eyes light up and those chubby cheeks get even rounder!

4.) I love that you are an observer. I love that you are watching everyone and taking it all in.

5.) I love that you keep everyone entertained with your baby noises. They say you coo all the time!

6.) I love all 17 1/2 pounds of you. I can't wait to hold you "chopper" my little love bug!

Remember this picture?

Last time it was used to announce the referral of our sweet baby boy.

This time it is to announce that we are going to go and get that sweet baby boy!

What if

So I should be napping. But instead here I sit because everytime I lay my "exhausted" head down I begin to play a little game with myself. It's called the WHAT IF game and it totally SUCKS! What if we passed and they are trying to figure out embassy appointments What if we didn't pass and they are trying to find out our rescheduled dates What if he is home by Christmas What if he isn't What if our rescheduled dates leave us traveling in 3 months What if we travel in 3 weeks What if I get a phone call with good news What if I get an e-mail with bad news. What if I break down and call Christy What if they know something and they are just waiting to tell me What if they don't know yet What if they do What if I never sleep again What if I get to travel with 2 other families that we have gotten so close to What if I travel with 19 strangers What if I pass and no one else did What if I don't pass and everyone else did What if I pack my suit case What if I don't What if I travel and I can't get my second round of Hep. shots or yellow fever What if I just don't get them and we land in Uganda and they won't let me in the country What if I have a horrible reaction to the yellow fever shot What if I have plenty of time to get shots because we aren't traveling for 2 more months What if I get called today What if I don't This is just a little sample. I wouldn't want to bore you with my insanity. I do want to follow this whole mad rambling with a verse. Maybe it's hypocritical but I believe God asks us to continually cast our cares on him and he also tells us we must take up our cross daily. So please know that when I tell you the verse I am trying my best to live it out.

Psalm 40:1-3

I waited patiently for the Lord, he inclined and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

I just have to point out that although David is waiting patiently he is still crying out! So I can patiently wait for God and still cry out for give me a new song. Until then I will do like the praise song states and ask "How long to sing this song."

Going to Mexico

So in my current state of psychosis...I have not been sleeping. I don't mean at all I mean laying awake until 2:30ish forcing my eyes shut trying so hard to make myself sleep. Well at some point I fall asleep and awaken again wondering if I ever fell asleep, I look at the clock and sure enough a good 45 minutes will have gone by...Then I start it all over again. So in order to help myself relax, I have been trying to go to a "happy place." Well my current happy place of choice is the trip my Mom, older sister and I took last year (here is where the photo comes in:). We went to Puerto Vuellarta. It was amazing! While on that trip my mom and I would do Yoga on a Pier over looking the ocean! You can imagine how peaceful and beautiful it was. So I find myself trying so hard to go back there (mentally) every night. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

I wish I had some encouragement or news to share but at this point I really don't. I am staying glued to my bible as it really is the only sort of comfort I get, but fighting off my anxiety over the unknown is really getting to me and is a daily (excuse me I mean nightly) battle. A battle that it feels like I am losing. I know it won't be long, but waiting is hard and this kind of waiting finally feels like more than I can bear.

Picture tag

I got tagged. I am supposed to find the fourth picture in the fourth file and explain it... I am on Aaron's laptop so I, like Leanne, just picked the fourth picture since there wasn't four files to chose from... Here is the explanation. That is me and my college roommate. That is her little girl Allie who is stinkin adorable!!! We were visiting our college town this summer and got to catch up with old friends. We had lots of fun! I am tagging: Shannon, Kami, Michelle R., Rachel Thought for the day: Patients is actually faith in God's timing!

That's me! NO I haven't turned into a goldfish. I feel like crawling under a rock and hiding. Not only hiding until after courts but hiding until we get our travel dates. Please pray everyone! Our dates are this Friday Nov. 14!!! There is a very very very (did I say very yet?) Very small chance we could pass the first time through. Well it would actually be a miracle to pass the first time through. But that is what I am praying for! I want this process to all happen in God's timing I just also want my heart to be willing to wait. Please Pray 1. That we pass. #2 that if it isn't time yet that God would sustain my heart until it is time!

Thanks

Bethany

Glowing

My most recent posts have been me sharing the truths that I have learned in order to help me not only wait through this process but wait "well."I can't tell you how many times I would log on to read my own post in order to re-remind myself the very truths that I posted. So often my head knows it but my heart takes a lot of reminding. After reading the beautiful story of one family who recently walked the road I so desperately want to walk. I broke down. Not in a hopeless desperate way but in a way that was acknowledging to God that I am getting ready for my turn. See the issue is I haven't let myself get excited. I haven't let myself grow in anticipation and "imagine" what it will be like to have him home. I have been guarding my heart to closely. Well recently I began to realize that waiting well doesn't have anything to do with shutting off all emotion. Sure I haven't been hurting but I have not been excited either. Well God recently began to convict my heart that I need to let myself be excited too. Part of trusting God to help me wait is trusting him that he will be there to pick up the pieces if I get disappointed. I don't know how to do this waiting thing. It has been such a calming learning experience for me. I was looking up scripture last night to help me with this time of waiting and what it means to wait the way that God designed. I found this scripture Romans 8:22-27. God answered my questions on whether or not it was appropriate for me to be getting excited.

I wanted to write all of this because I wanted to officially announce that I am going to let myself glow. I am ready to get excited about bringing home my baby boy.

Please be praying for us as we believe our court date is sometime next week. Please pray that God would work in a mighty way, and that we could pass and bring Liam home.

Thanks

Bethany

Waiting

The unfolding of God’s plan for creation and his kingdom has been and still is full of waiting. In fact God seems to want it that way – he wants us to reap the benefits that come from waiting. God knows that waiting, waiting on Him, can draw us closer to him and can help us rely on him in new ways. Maintaining our hope in God’s promises, while we wait, can build our character, if we let it.

Isaiah 40:31 promises, “Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

So, we will actually be better, stronger, more alive people when our waiting time is focused on our hope in God. Romans 5:2-6 further encourages us to see that our waiting in hope brings glory to God. (read passage) You see, waiting is not just what we do until God puts his plan into motion, our waiting is an integral part of God’s superior plan. It is a method for growing us into the people he wants us to be – full of hope, perseverance and character.

This is an excerpt taken from a devotional that a friend read at my baby shower a few weeks ago. AMAZING TRUTH!!!