So in my current state of psychosis...I have not been sleeping. I don't mean at all I mean laying awake until 2:30ish forcing my eyes shut trying so hard to make myself sleep. Well at some point I fall asleep and awaken again wondering if I ever fell asleep, I look at the clock and sure enough a good 45 minutes will have gone by...Then I start it all over again. So in order to help myself relax, I have been trying to go to a "happy place." Well my current happy place of choice is the trip my Mom, older sister and I took last year (here is where the photo comes in:). We went to Puerto Vuellarta. It was amazing! While on that trip my mom and I would do Yoga on a Pier over looking the ocean! You can imagine how peaceful and beautiful it was. So I find myself trying so hard to go back there (mentally) every night. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
I wish I had some encouragement or news to share but at this point I really don't. I am staying glued to my bible as it really is the only sort of comfort I get, but fighting off my anxiety over the unknown is really getting to me and is a daily (excuse me I mean nightly) battle. A battle that it feels like I am losing. I know it won't be long, but waiting is hard and this kind of waiting finally feels like more than I can bear.
1 comment:
You can do this...you are doing...your are Liam's mother..continue to rest in that.
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