Seriously I do not mean to beat a dead horse, although sometimes I do wish there was a dead horse in the back yard for me to beat. Please don't notify PETA I love animals and I don't wish death upon them. I am merely saying if there happened to be a horse who by chance died of say natural causes and it happened to somehow be drug into my backyard where I happen to see it and in the midst of my frustration was able to use it as a punching bag it might be a good outlet. Although after that somewhat graphic explanation I feel a little nauseous.
I digress...
Please tell me what is normal 18mo behavior? When Wes was 18mo I remember (barely) feeling like I was going to lose my mind because he was unbelievably busy and into EVERYTHING.
Example: One afternoon while running through the house like a mad woman trying to clean like crazy(I believe we were having company)I stepped out of Wesley's sight for 1 sec...Okay maybe 30 sec. but seriously under a minute, and when I walked back into the room he had found a tube of sun screen(I don't even know where he got it) and had squeezed it all over our kitchen bench and had slathered it all over the kitchen floor. He seriously did things like this ALL THE TIME!
Okay so I remember some issues but I just don't remember all the screaming and crying that Liam does in a 12 hour period (the other 12 he is asleep:). Everything makes my little man cry EVERYTHING. I have been really thankful for our adoption list serve because there have been others who have started opening up about some of their own struggles with their newly entered toddlers. Apparently screaming hitting fit throwing are all totally normal. I also got some good advice as far as how to handle Liam when he is in the middle of his angry tantrum. Well my friends I got to practice this such advice a few short hours of reading it. I had to take Wesley to the Doctor. Here is how the conversation went before we left:
W:Mom when are we leaving for the doctor?
M: As soon as I get brother up from his nap.
W: Aww mom we have to bring him?
M: Of course he's your brother and he can't stay home alone.
W:But mom he is so loud.
M: He is not so loud and he will be fine.
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
So I put liam in the stroller and Wes, Liam and I walk in. WE get to sit in the well side of the waiting room and I decided we could be there for 2 hours waiting so I let LIam out of the stroller to play with Wes(who of course was begging me to let Liam out so that they could play(he really loves his brother). So I Got Liam out of the stroller and he decides he wants to push his stroller around the waiting room. Totally fine we are the only ones in there. Well to my surprise they call us back in like 10 min. So I grab the hats, gloves, coats, not to mention the pen and 5 pieces of paper and clip board they give you when you first walk in the door, plus I am trying to help Liam who can't see over his stroller push it into the hall, AND I am trying to encourage Wesley to move forward because he has just decided he is shy. Well we get 2 feet into the doorway and the @#$% hit the fan. I don't remember if I touched the stroller or if Wes did or what. None of us had the intent of taking the stroller away from him, but that was his perception and he hit the deck. I mean flung himself back ward bumped the wall losing his balance and landing on his butt which he then flung himself the rest of the way back and through a fit. If I had a mute button he almost looked like he was trying to make a snow angel. Bring the volume back on it was not so serene. I panicked! I mean we were in public and around health officials. I couldn't decide what they thought was worse that he was throwing such a loud horrendous fit, that he was laying on a dirty doctors office floor, or that I proceeded to step over him. Yes you read that right. I stepped over him and kept walking. All I could think of when it happened was someone saying they ignore the tantrum and "step over the child." Well he got up followed us a few steps and threw himself back down. I continued to ignore him (while wes was being weighed in the hallway)(at this point there were 2 doctors and 3 nurses all staring at my hysterical son. When it was time to walk to our room I picked him up (He pinched, hit, scratched smacked me all the way to the room). When we got in the room a sat him in his stroller buckled him in and had it face the wall. He continued to scream our whole appointment. The ironic part was when the nurse asked us why we were in there: I said "He has been complaining of headaches." Seriously the nurse stared at me like "you wonder why."
I tried the time out chair at home. Yeah it worked like five times and then on the sixth time he wouldn't let me get him out of the time out chair. Yeah he catches on real quick and once he catches on he is back in control. STRONG WILL???
To top things off he has just decided he doesn't want to eat. All he wants to eat is bread. He doesn't want to eat anything anymore. Everything is a fight. He used to be the best eater in the world(literally). I loved the way he was so excited to eat and enjoyed his food. NOw it is almost as if he has no appetite and when he does eat he begs for crackers and bread and of course milk....Is this normal? I mean I know they acquire a taste for food and what they do or do not like but is this more a battle of the wills like everything else has been or is this a genuine he doesn't like anything anymore? Oh and anymore discipline ideas for when we are say in the middle of the store and he can't have what he wants and he is screaming blood curdling screams. I can't do time out, I don't want to leave my cart and have to start over(besides I think he would like that to much). I have put my hand on his mouth and said shhh shhh Liam use quiet mouth. But even this activity gets raised eyebrows.
Come on pour in the advice!
Okay now here comes the shocker: I made it into Graduate school. It is 2 evenings a week and goes I think for 2 years. I am really excited and hope it works out with the family schedule.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Beating a dead horse And I am officially a Grad student!!!!
Seriously I do not mean to beat a dead horse, although sometimes I do wish there was a dead horse in the back yard for me to beat. Please don't notify PETA I love animals and I don't wish death upon them. I am merely saying if there happened to be a horse who by chance died of say natural causes and it happened to somehow be drug into my backyard where I happen to see it and in the midst of my frustration was able to use it as a punching bag it might be a good outlet. Although after that somewhat graphic explanation I feel a little nauseous.
I digress...
Please tell me what is normal 18mo behavior? When Wes was 18mo I remember (barely) feeling like I was going to lose my mind because he was unbelievably busy and into EVERYTHING.
Example: One afternoon while running through the house like a mad woman trying to clean like crazy(I believe we were having company)I stepped out of Wesley's sight for 1 sec...Okay maybe 30 sec. but seriously under a minute, and when I walked back into the room he had found a tube of sun screen(I don't even know where he got it) and had squeezed it all over our kitchen bench and had slathered it all over the kitchen floor. He seriously did things like this ALL THE TIME!
Okay so I remember some issues but I just don't remember all the screaming and crying that Liam does in a 12 hour period (the other 12 he is asleep:). Everything makes my little man cry EVERYTHING. I have been really thankful for our adoption list serve because there have been others who have started opening up about some of their own struggles with their newly entered toddlers. Apparently screaming hitting fit throwing are all totally normal. I also got some good advice as far as how to handle Liam when he is in the middle of his angry tantrum. Well my friends I got to practice this such advice a few short hours of reading it. I had to take Wesley to the Doctor. Here is how the conversation went before we left:
W:Mom when are we leaving for the doctor?
M: As soon as I get brother up from his nap.
W: Aww mom we have to bring him?
M: Of course he's your brother and he can't stay home alone.
W:But mom he is so loud.
M: He is not so loud and he will be fine.
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
So I put liam in the stroller and Wes, Liam and I walk in. WE get to sit in the well side of the waiting room and I decided we could be there for 2 hours waiting so I let LIam out of the stroller to play with Wes(who of course was begging me to let Liam out so that they could play(he really loves his brother). So I Got Liam out of the stroller and he decides he wants to push his stroller around the waiting room. Totally fine we are the only ones in there. Well to my surprise they call us back in like 10 min. So I grab the hats, gloves, coats, not to mention the pen and 5 pieces of paper and clip board they give you when you first walk in the door, plus I am trying to help Liam who can't see over his stroller push it into the hall, AND I am trying to encourage Wesley to move forward because he has just decided he is shy. Well we get 2 feet into the doorway and the @#$% hit the fan. I don't remember if I touched the stroller or if Wes did or what. None of us had the intent of taking the stroller away from him, but that was his perception and he hit the deck. I mean flung himself back ward bumped the wall losing his balance and landing on his butt which he then flung himself the rest of the way back and through a fit. If I had a mute button he almost looked like he was trying to make a snow angel. Bring the volume back on it was not so serene. I panicked! I mean we were in public and around health officials. I couldn't decide what they thought was worse that he was throwing such a loud horrendous fit, that he was laying on a dirty doctors office floor, or that I proceeded to step over him. Yes you read that right. I stepped over him and kept walking. All I could think of when it happened was someone saying they ignore the tantrum and "step over the child." Well he got up followed us a few steps and threw himself back down. I continued to ignore him (while wes was being weighed in the hallway)(at this point there were 2 doctors and 3 nurses all staring at my hysterical son. When it was time to walk to our room I picked him up (He pinched, hit, scratched smacked me all the way to the room). When we got in the room a sat him in his stroller buckled him in and had it face the wall. He continued to scream our whole appointment. The ironic part was when the nurse asked us why we were in there: I said "He has been complaining of headaches." Seriously the nurse stared at me like "you wonder why."
I tried the time out chair at home. Yeah it worked like five times and then on the sixth time he wouldn't let me get him out of the time out chair. Yeah he catches on real quick and once he catches on he is back in control. STRONG WILL???
To top things off he has just decided he doesn't want to eat. All he wants to eat is bread. He doesn't want to eat anything anymore. Everything is a fight. He used to be the best eater in the world(literally). I loved the way he was so excited to eat and enjoyed his food. NOw it is almost as if he has no appetite and when he does eat he begs for crackers and bread and of course milk....Is this normal? I mean I know they acquire a taste for food and what they do or do not like but is this more a battle of the wills like everything else has been or is this a genuine he doesn't like anything anymore? Oh and anymore discipline ideas for when we are say in the middle of the store and he can't have what he wants and he is screaming blood curdling screams. I can't do time out, I don't want to leave my cart and have to start over(besides I think he would like that to much). I have put my hand on his mouth and said shhh shhh Liam use quiet mouth. But even this activity gets raised eyebrows.
Come on pour in the advice!
Okay now here comes the shocker: I made it into Graduate school. It is 2 evenings a week and goes I think for 2 years. I am really excited and hope it works out with the family schedule.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Holidays
We had a wonderful Christmas...Wesley tore through presents while Liam cried through opening every single one. We eventually learned after about the 2nd present that we should stop forcing him to open his presents. We let Wesley open Liam's presents and Liam got to play with what was inside it was a perfect compromise!
This Christmas was so different for me in so many ways. One way in particular was how we are in such a different place emotionally. Another way was my mindset on the day of Christmas itself.
After reading the responses to my post on Christmas's and after mulling over the subject (probably too much:) I began to formulate my own ideas as to what the day of Christmas may look like as our boys get older. I heard a sermon shortly after my post about the shepherds having just seen and angel and a star in the distance. They had just received GOOD NEWS! He compared it to the fact that we so often consider evangelizing a burden or a specific phrase we have to say. When really we are sharing the joy of our good news. When you get a job promotion you share with enthusiasm and excitement your good news. Your excitement is contagious. Why should Christmas day be any different? For me Christmas had become about trying to wrap my brain around the great thing that was done of me on this day. Almost a burden I had placed on myself to not be to excited about the material side so that I could focus on what God did for us that day.I like the annalogy that if I had a cure for someone's termanal illness I would run at them with my life saving good news. Well that is what Christmas (and of course Easter) are reminders that we have the cure. We have the good news of eternal life. Well my friends then it dawned on me. What if the material side was part of the Spiritual side on Christmas. Follow me for a second. When you have a birthday there is good news and great joy. There is celebrating for all the people. The gifts, the food, the family gathering can all be a part of the celebration that Christ was born on this day. This probably sounds like a no brainer to most of you. But for me it really transformed my heart. I really had a sense of pure joy and excitement. I don't know Christmas was really real.
Hope to share Christmas pics at some point...
Need to hop off I have been watching Liam watch himself (filling his pants) in the mirror and then trying to feed his image berry berry kix....
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