Spiritual accountability

So I have been thinking a lot about spiritual accountability. What does it look like? I ask this because I know that our personal walk with God can be so intimate but at the same time as humans and dealing with our flesh we can need a prompting from a fellow believer. I will be totally honest with you...I really struggle with my daily devotion. I mean I struggle with the fact that I don't have one. I really want an accountability partner but at the same time I don't know how to go about asking for one. Well last week I decided that I needed to start my day off with God. If I am looking to him for my strength all day then I need to be arming myself with the Word. I know that I have the Holy Spirit but I also have to trust that God has spoken to me through his word and I can pull from that throughout the day. Well until I figure out this accountability partner issue I want to post my devo. for today. My goal would be to post it every day but well it has been a big deal for me to be reading everyday let alone turning on the computer and posting so we will see. Here it is... From My Utmost for His Highest. Reference I kings 19:5 This verse is talking about Elijah fearing for his life and basically hiding out in the wilderness. The Lord provides food for him. The title of today's devo. TAKING THE INITIATIVE AGAINST DEPRESSION: It is talking about how all of us have the capacity for depression. If we didn't we would not be human. Whenever we examine ourselves we need to take into account our capacity for depression. The Spirit of God comes to us, just as it did to Elijah. Not with glorious visions but in the most ordinary things imaginable. (He fed Elijah). We are being prompted to look for the Holy Spirit leading us instinctively to do something. This reminds me of something wise my MIL told me about. She was diagnosed with an illness that takes a lot of adjustment and trusting God to deal with. She talked to me about gathering Manna. How we so often try to gather our manna and look to prepare ourselves for the future. We worry about things days, weeks, months ahead. We gather our worries or "manna" for the future. All our manna gathered for the future spoils. Just like when we worry about tomorrow it spoils our day or causes worry and stress over something we are not even guaranteed to have. We need to gather and prepare for today the moment we are in. Taking each moment for what it is and trusting that God has given us the grace and fruit we need to handle that moment.

My little brown bear and the vanilla one too:)

Basically I think kids go through phases. I think just when you think you have hit phase and moved on I think you quickly can find yourself back in the midst of it again. One phase I have seen Liam go through and move out of and go back into is temper issues. I do feel like he does relax and we will be there for a few weeks and then spend a month or two working through things that don't feel like "normal" toddler issues. I understand that I am probably reading to much into things but I almost feel like as long as I keep myself in check it might not be such a bad thing. I mean seriously a person can drive themselves insane playing the what if game. I have come to the conclusion that I will do what works best for Liam and the rest of the family. We can't treat Liam like he is our only child because he is not. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God planned it that way for a reason. I know he wanted Liam to be the younger brother or else he would have worked it out that Liam would have been placed in another family.But he didn't he is in ours and if I trust God he will equip us to be the best parents for liam and Wesley. It may take a lot more growing on our part as parents and it may take a lot more adjusting on Liam and Wesley's part. All I know is God does not make mistakes and I see proof of that in my family. I still think back on how there were a couple of people who did not think that God wanted Aaron and I together for whatever reason. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Aaron chose me and I chose him and God has blessed our relationship. The interesting part on that story is I had been warned ahead of time(while I was on a mission trip) that I would face a lot of spiritual warfare when I returned home. They warned us that it would be in the area that we struggled the most to trust God. Boy did they peg that one! Anyway I think Satan was just scared because he didn't want to see another couple united under the umbrella of salvation. On another note and why I am actually writing a post was to talk about the boys;)Even in the midst of learning how to parent and trust God in the midst of feeling clueless I have to trust that we will make it through. So back to what I was saying before about cycles. So I mentioned how liam seems to cycle through emotional behaviors. Well Wes seems to cycle through Physical regressions. Here are a couple of examples: It was time to get Wesley out of quiet read time: M: Wesley what is on your hand W: I got a little marker on it I should wash it in the sink. M: I think that is a good idea.... Wesley goes to the bathroom while I pick up... M: Wesley what is all over snuggie(his very special bear) W: I little bit of marker... M: (noticing his mouth) Wes what is all over your mouth? (I begin to pull his sleaves up and pant legs etc.) Wes what is all over you? W: (big grin) I markered myself! And when I was kissing snuggie I got it on his jamies... I proceed to discover marker on his belly, all over his arms and legs, and yes folks even his crack.... I wanted to be mad but it was next to impossible once I saw the marker trail heading down into his southern cheeks.. Second: I was sleeping. wesley runs into my room (it's 6:30) M: Hi baby did you just wake up? W: no mom I was awake for awhile. I cut my school picture up and seperated my friends on who is bossy and who isn't. He then proceeds to shower me with all the pictures of his friends who appearantly aren't bossy. Hmmmm! Don't leave wesley alone and tread on thin ice with Liam:)Lessons learned!I love how they make me laugh.

Life is precious

Life is precious~ I understand why it often takes an illness or tragic event for us to puzzle over just how precious life is. It just makes me sad that in between these moments in time we often live our lives taking for granted the people around us we love a lot. When Aaron and I were in college we saw a good friend burried due to a car accident. After we were married about two years we saw 2 other good friends(brothers) and their father burried due to a car accident. It was after this tragic event that I got a little anxious about Aaron driving or flying. There were so many times when he was in pilot training or was flight instructing that I thought he was supposed to be home at a certain time and minutes would turn into hours before I would hear from him. There was one night in particular where I can remember he was supposed to be somewhere by a certain time and during that time a quick moving storm system had moved into the area. The power in the house was coming and going and tornado sirens were sounding. I was so scared something had happened to Aaron 2 1/2 hours of wondering before I found out he was okay but that he had been through quite a ride. In those moments of fear I would often (foolishly) allow myself to "go there." you know the place you go when you start assuming the worse. I would wonder what I would do. How would I continue to be a mom. How would God help me breath after something so horrible? My sister and I would often have conversations about this. Conversations about the dreaded phone call, and then still functioning in life for our childrens sake and how would we do it. I know I cannot fathom the peace that God would give and I know I can't imagine the breath God would have to breath into my lungs to help me get through the first painful moments(days years) I know I can't imagine it because I don't need that peace or understanding right now. It's not a journey I am walking and I know if I had to walk it that GOD's GRACE IS ALL SUFFICIENT! Well my sister did get the dreaded phone call yesterday. The phone call in which some strange person calls your home interrupting your world of normal and asks you if you are "susie smith?" You say yes wondering who this is and what they are selling. THen the dreaded sets in the next sentence delivers life changing impact. "We have your husband in the ER there has been an accident." I don't know how she felt, I don't know what her next thoughts were or how she functioned all I know is that God was with her. As I talked with her throughout the day and evening I could tell there was a guard holding up. She was staying so strong so she could process and do what she needed to do as a wife and a mom and she did it. I was so proud of her. Every time I got off the phone I was in awe at the things she had thought of. Of the boundries she was setting (giving herself room and time to think). Of thinking of and moving her kids to where they needed to be. She is my hero and again I am so proud of her. My brother in law by the Grace of God is alive. He is injured and his body is broken but he is alive and healing. I am so thankful that God protected him and my sister and my neices and nephew. So I just wanted to leave you with this thought. Life is precious. Don't let anyone leave with unresolved anger or hurt. You just never no when it will be the last time.