Toxic STRESS syndrome

You remember how I am making all of my medical stuff up? Do you remember the doctor after doctor who told me that I needed to wait it out. Do you remember the ENT who asked me "what do you want? to have surgery?" Or when he said I was being superficial because the swelling wasn't "that noticeable?" Well I have some answers to these questions. After I filter out the inappropriate things I shouldn't say...Actually there has been something wrong. Something has been very wrong. I went to an Orthopedic surgeon on Friday of last week. After doing mild strength tests he told me that I had a pulled trapezoid muscle. He then told me I needed to get a shot in my neck and physical therapy. Soooo after almost chickening out, having to ask for crackers, and to hold the nurses hand, I got the shot into my neck. He told me it would help relieve the pain. Not so much. The swelling got worse and I felt a lot more pain. Well I just waited because I knew I was going in for physical therapy.

Long story short I was told my physical therapy was going to be like a message. So I thought I had a prescription for 3-5 messages per week for 4-6 weeks. Well this did not turn out to be the case. After a lot of diagnostic testing the physical therapist tells me I have Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. He didn't give me a whole lot of answers because he said it really now would involve my primary care doctor and an orthopedic surgeon in Saint Louis. Yikes! As far as my diagnosis goes he told me to google it. So I did. It was kind of stressful to say the least. Conservative approaches can be used and may be all I need. But basically what I read was that in 50-80% of people the surgery is successful. Or What? That's how I feel...Or what? What does surgery mean? What does it mean for it to not work? What if I chose not to have surgery and I continue to have nerve damage? Then what? They amputate my arm? I lay it on a fire and forget it's there because I don't have feeling in it anymore? OR WHAT?

The last 3 days I have cried a lot. It's not because this is life threatening...It's because I don't get it. I don't get the plan, the long term, the prognosis, The OR WHAT?...All I know is that we are working on better posture, taping, sitting with support etc. When do I get scheduled with my doctor? When Do I see the orthopedic surgeon in Saint Louis? What happens if this continues? When I was getting my evaluation he lifted my arm and felt my pulse(one of the diagnostic techniques) he found that my pulse stops sooner than it should. Someone who has this 'syndrome' a doctor may find that they are losing a pulse by holding the individuals hand up to about 180 degrees. He said he couldn't feel mine as of about 45 degrees. This morning when I laid down on the table to have more diagnostic stuff done, half of my neck and face went numb and turned red. The doctor said does this always happen? I said no this isn't normal. I am scared. I am losing feeling in my arm, neck and face.

I am struggling. I am so happy to know what could be going on. What a blessing that something so rare was found in me, in my small town! But I am still really struggling. So much of what will keep this from getting worse is stuff that I feel I don't know how to do. You know stuff like not picking up the kids, "taking it easy," um resting with my arm elevated. I feel so discouraged. How in the world can I do those things? It's hard when you hear things like "rare" and "severe, case."

Sorry I don't know how to ask for help and then I don't know how to sit back and let that help happen. I feel extremely overwhelmed right now with things going on in our home. School is the least of my stresses and unfortunately it in itself is extremely stressful. Statistics is not my thing.

I need to also update about Liam but I am to spent. Just done...