Thursday, July 17, 2008
Honesty
You know it is funny the squeeky wheel gets the attention. I just have to laugh at myself because for me this was a lesson learned.
I am the one who has put this weird reign on myself. Like I have to perfect in order to belong in the wonderful world of adoptive families...
Every time I talk to AGCI I get so nervous that I am going to say something totally stupid (which yes is very possible and quite likely). I always get so nervous that I will say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time.Well this isn't like me. I am just so out of my element. So my last post was honest and I wasn't totally ostrasized. Thanks to those who supported me!
Well here is a little more honesty for all of you...
Sometimes I can't picture what it will be like to bring my little one home. I can't imagine traveling. I am scared to leave my little George home with someone other than his mom and Dad. I think all of this changes once you see the prince or princess face but until then I will be honest I am a little nervous.
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7 comments:
I think we all have similar fears at different times. I know one minute I am content with God's timing and fully trusting Him and the next I am worried about not traveling with my husband and leaving my other two children for 5 days. Then I remember that none of this is up to me and I better get over it and give my fears and concerns over to God. He is looking out for me. He is looking out for ALL THREE of my children. What comfort I feel when I can rest in the peace that He is in control. What a faith journey this miracle of adoption has become. It has already given me so many things I can share with others about God's goodness, His faithfulness and His love for all His children.
Amy
I totally agree. It just took me 11 months to realize there is no right or wrong way to do this. I totally put it all on myself. This stigma that I can or can't share something. Thanks for the reminder! Your right God is over all of this and wants NEEDS to be 100% in control!
Just found your blog from reading Sharon's comments...hows that for snoopy!! LOL! Come say hi over at www.holdingfasttoyou.blogspot.com. We traveled with Sharon last August! I too worried about leaving my kids but the biggest worry was getting in an airplane and flying over the Atlantic Ocean!! I cried many nites over this. And now, I BEG God to send us again. Honestly.
smiles,
jen in mi
Oh, girl! How I can identify with you! We have a referral & I am still nervous & afraid that I can't really do this! You know what I was reminded of last night...that's humility! We can't do this, but God can! He called us to this & will complete this in us & through us...& in His strength! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Hey Bethany,
Yeah for honesty posts, LOL. I think it is important to write about your fears and frustrations. I sure have. We started a blog so we wouldn't have to keep a list of everyone we know and update everybody about everything that is happening. I have found it has become so much more. This is a way for me to document how I am feeling throughout the process and instead of judgement receive support from people I have only "met" online. So I have been celebrating and venting all along the way and find that I wouldn't want to go through this journey without this support that I have come to depend on. I have always thought it would be so cool too if we got to travel with someone I already "knew" from our blog.
Pretty sure this is the longest comment I have ever written. Sorry :) But really, I am not here to judge. I am deathly afriad that my kid is going to be the one screaming his head off and puking his guts out on a 18 hour flight and that I, a complete stranger, will be absolutely no comfort for him.
Even though every social worker we have spoken with has told me that blogs are bad and our adoption should be private, I have found that I need the support and encouragement and that I need to know other people have the same fears that I do. So, blog away... :) I'll be reading.
You have me hooked---honesty and all! I love reading about others' journeys and it just reminds me that we are all in it together! It may take a village to raise a child but it takes all of cyberspace to support the parents!!!!!
Peace,
Melissa (Va.)
We all saw the POWER in prayer and fasting when we as a blog family took a day to do this for the hold on some of the Ethiopia adoptions.. SO I feel that we as a blog family need to do this for Margot (Julies' mom) SO please join me this Friday July 25,2008 for a day of fasting and prayer for Margots healing!!!!
C
"For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers."
1 Peter 3:12
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