Mom Inspiration

First I want to recap the last couple of family movie night movies:

Marmaduke: Super Cute! We were really pleased!

Main message: Being comfortable with you who are and not trying to be someone your not. Kept Wesley's attention the whole time.

The Incredible Mr. Limpet:

Super old movie, according to Wesley it was from the 1980's. It was cute and not scary. Unfortunately I didn't like the ending (I am about to give it away) It is justified why he can't be with his wife (he's a fish) and so she goes with the best friend and he goes with lady fish. I just felt like if Aaron was a fish I would live on the dock...or in a submarine or in scuba gear or something....you know since Aaron turning into a fish is a pretty immanent possibility and I would need a practical plan on how to solve it.

Okay so on to mom inspiration. It's ironic how my inspiration post is going to be one post and so much shorter than the guilt posts. But isn't that life. Isn't that how we as mom's (or humans) are? We live disproportionately in a life of failures and guilt instead of success and freedom. Jesus died for our freedom. He wanted us so badly to not have to experience the weight and consequence of sin that he sent his son for us... Something to think about.

Anyway I had some really great conversations with my Mom last night about how I genuinely feel at the end of my rope. We are needing some answers and to be honest Aaron and I really needing a night away, excuse me, a weekend away. We need the, go to sleep after being uhhhh, together, wake up late in the morning, eat peaceful meals together, catch a movie, play some games, have uninterrupted conversations, sleep, hang out, shop, hold hands, sleep, eat peacefully, sleep, take a shower (for me uninterrupted, without the shower curtain ripped open, only to answer the same question for the 15th time.) sleep. Dry my hair....put on makeup...wear clean clothes...Okay I'm sorry what am I talking about....Hold on...

Yes I have it now inspiration. I have a couple of thoughts that I am contemplating. One is: Since God has a plan for my kids, Do I really think he put me in charge of making sure his plan was carried out? THis may not make sense and I am pretty hopped up on Sudafed, but I just mean I often parent the boys like it's all my responsibility to make sure God's plan (which I don't even know) is not botched by me and my imperfections. I act like somehow if I do everything right, hop up and down on one leg, and hold my mouth right, I can control how my babies end up. I don't consciously think this way but my mom guilt shows me that I must think it somewhere. My next thought that I am contemplating is that It's God's plan, that means it's HIS responsibility I don't have to guess all the time how to parent my boys, I need to extend Love first, Grace second, and discipline third, and remember that is my responsibility. I get to enjoy my boys and take the pressure off. I don't know if that makes sense or if it just seems I am trying to justify shirking my responsibility but I feel I am genuinely beginning to understand as a parent, God's Grace truly is sufficient in my weakness! God called me to be Bethany Rye Wife and Mom inspite of my imperfections. He knew I was going to fail. Turns out he knew I was human. I just have to have faith that what he promises is true and not try to control the outcome.

The last thought I contemplated today was: I am not picking to discipline my kids multiple times in a day. I don't know how I have taken so much of the children's choices to disobey me on myself. I don't know how I let this happen but I am beginning to get it. God created us choosing beings. Because of the fall we are born sinful. We don't need to teach our little people how to be sinners. They already know. WE have to teach them how to make good choices and do the right thing. I began to realize that when Liam is on his 17th temper tantrum of the day...I need to step back and realize this is not an assault on me. It's not an assault on my parenting. It's Liam exerting his God given ability to chose. It is my job as a parent to come along side Liam and to think "okay Liam you chose...You chose WRONG....and now it my job to demonstrate the consequences of your wrong choice." This gives Liam safety. It says "I understand you don't always know or want to pick the right thing.... but I am the parent and I will show you how to learn how to chose right." Every time they choose to disobey they aren't (even though their actions feel like it) saying..."you've failed mom and guess what I am in control..." it's really a "You have asked me to not open the door while we are driving...I really don't care for your directions mom...and well I would like to see what happens if I continue to chose what I want..." It was cool. I had quite a few opportunities to practice this today. I stepped back and very objectively (hmmm well there's no proof it wasn't objective:) re-guided them to obedience. The fits were fewer (funnier) but fewer and didn't last nearly as long. We'll just say by the end of this phase I am pretty confident Liam and Wesley will be secure that his Mommy is in control and that he is therefore safe....safe to try things out but also safe to make the wrong choices because his mommy will help him begin to understand what wrong choices feel like and how making the right choices feel. I know all of this probably sounds super DUH.. and Aaron and I consistently discipline our kids but this post is about the inspiration and the new found freedom that they are the ones making the wrong choice...it's not my fault they are needing to be disciplined. I guess it's not really a post about changing a discipline style (necessarily) but more about changing the outlook for me as not only a parent but a child of God.

Man I love those two little people and I am loving the last 12 hours of this new found freedom to just love my kids and let God work out the details of how he will carry out HIS plans for HIS children.