Saturday, February 14, 2009
Honesty Post
Sorry it has taken me so long to post. Things have been kinda rough in our world. Liam is amazing and Wesley is the best big brother ever! It's their Mom that isn't catching up. I guess that statement desserves an explaination but I don't have one. When we first came home I was sick as a dog. We are talking 4 prescriptions and chest x-rays...I know you've heard the sob story. I just feel like it set me off on the wrong foot. I don't know if it is hormonal issues or adjustment issues (for me) or what. I am trying! I am trying hard. I also feel like I hold myself to a standard of perfection. I had Wesley on a schedule and knew when to expect what. I want to be just that knowledgeable with Liam. I feel like I should know everything about him like I know Wesley. I realize I have had 3 1/2 years with Wes and just 2 months with Liam butI love him so much and feel like he has always been mine. I am hard on myself when I don't know something I feel like I should. For example: I knew when Wesley was teething..Totally oblivious with Liam and the poor kid was cutting 2 teeth. I knew or suspected ear infections with Wesley...With Liam he went who knows how long with a double ear infection:( The doctor even said "didn't you notice he cried when you put him down, Or pulled at his ear etc..." I said no I thought it was attachment issues. Well I am letting go of all the rules. There are no more attachment and bonding "rules" in our house. (this has helped the stress level a lot.) Wesley and Liam are my boys and God designed it that way before the begining of time. He knew that for one reason or another I was the perfect Mom for them and that is why they have been intrusted in my care.
Happy Valentine's Day to all. God has given us the 2 best Valentine's day presents ever...Our 2 boys true gifts of our love!
Bethany
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5 comments:
Bethany!
Adjustments are difficult.....To say the least! You are such a loving mom. I know what you mean about not knowing things. I felt that way with our first and second one. I felt like I knew more about my first born than our second and they are both birth children:) Kiddos all handle things differently. I NEVER know when my son (my second birth child) is/was teething or has an ear infections. The doctors would say the same thing to me, and I just thought he was having a "bad" day.
Hang in there!
Happy Valentines Day!!
Michelle
www.mfamilyblog.blogspot.com
I am glad you got rid of the "rules" in your house. I've decided the only rules are the ones Sitina makes...I know--completely against all we've been told. Her schedule is my schedule and I love it. At least until I have to return to work. I know you are a DEDICATED and WONDERFUL mother. God knows it too. That's all that matters. YAY for you--I bet it feels so much better just be. Miss you tons.
Elias had a pretty bad infection in the right ear when we got home. He never pulled on the ear or cried,so there. I think it was lousy of the MD to say that. Hang in there, cut yourself some serious slack. You are a great mom. AND, it'a a BIG adjustment going from one to two.
Hey friend. I know how hard it is and I'm glad you're upfront about it. It's also true that it WILL get better and these rough days will be a memory. So come on over and let the boys play - we love you guys!
Sharon
God did give you those sweet little boys and you will know (with his help) what to do. I think we feel so tied to having things just so to promote the bonding and attachment that we lose sight of the fact that God chose us and He will give us the knowledge we need to make decisions. We just have to trust our gut and not be so freaked out about having things a certain way. (I am talking to myself here: ) I have had to let go too. I just trust myself.
A
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